God did not leave me.

Intentional Fasting for Breakthrough

Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke?

Isaiah 58:6 NKJV

Several years ago, I found myself struggling with depression. Though I had been saved years earlier, I was no longer living for Christ. I had allowed life circumstances, sin, and the lies of the enemy to creep in and take a hold of my heart and my mind. I began to self-medicate using drugs, alcohol, and sex, to numb and ease the pain that I was experiencing. I am so grateful that through all my unfaithfulness, my God was faithful. Though I absolutely deserved his abandonment, God did not leave me. In fact, He came closer to me. (The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit, Psalm 34:18.)

As I sat in my misery one warm summer day, the Lord began to gently speak to my heart. The words were different from those that I had been hearing lately. They were not hopeless or indulging of my pity party. They did not point out every negative thing going on in and around me. They were words of love and comfort. Words spoken from a father to his child reminding them who and whose they are. As I sat there, eyes closed, warmth of the sun on my face I could feel the presence of the Lord so strongly. I realized for the first time in a long time how much that I had missed Him. How much that I needed Him.

For the next few weeks, I spent countless hours enjoying moments just like those. Somedays, I would sit quietly soaking up His presence. Others I spent crying and sharing with Him the secret despairs of my heart.

As the days went by, my heart became more in tune with the heart of the Father. I began to sense His desire for me to lay down my self-prescribed medications. I knew that He was calling me back in to right relationship with him. Up until this point He had come to sit with me in my mess but now he was calling me out of it.

I remember the very moment so clearly the thought entered my mind and I prayed, “Lord maybe I should fast.” I had grown up in the church and I understood the concept of fasting. I had even taken part in corporate and individual fasts at various times in my life. If ever there was a time to fast, it was now I thought. I had turned my back on God, picked up old habits, and gave the enemy free reign of my life. How could I overcome all the garbage I had packed into my proverbial suitcase? Certainly, a fast was in order. As I pondered the idea, I ask the Lord for guidance and immediately, He spoke to my heart. “If you want to fast something, fast your addictions.” Ouch. If I am being honest until that point, I had not really saw them as addictions. Crutches maybe, hang-ups at best, but addictions, no way. But there it was, spoken as clear as I have ever heard the voice of God, fast your addictions. So simple yet so difficult. I even chuckled a little when I heard it and told God how tricky he was. I knew that He knew, if I would just commit to fast my addictions, He would free me from them.

Heavenly Father, today I thank you that in the darkest moments of life you are always nearby. Thank you, Lord, for always providing a way out of any situation. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me. Help me to be sensitive to your voice. Help me to hear you clearer and to serve you better. In Jesus name. Amen.

Written by: Tracy Sims

Categorised in: Uncategorized

This post was written by Neo Church